Raw, but c*nsored blabbing and blogging of a young journalista
and local news producer in Southern New England.
email topstorylive % at # gmail + dot = com

Monday, August 29, 2005

Tanglewood

I didn't even get to hear my friend sing at Tanglewood today. I honestly want to cry.

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/29/2005 04:11:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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Bitchy email to the co-worker who left my footstool box on my desk

------:
I understand your legs may be too long to accommodate a box under the desk you work at.

However, please do not remove the box I am using to prop up my feet from that area.

You may put the box on top of the computer CPU under the desk if you need to get it out of the way. However, if you are even more desperate than that for space, you may, if absolutely necessary, put the box on top of the computer CPU under -----’s desk.

Thank you. I appreciate your respecting my space and personal property.

Bill

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/29/2005 04:02:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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...Email reading continued... Or not

....So I watched my bloody a-- and by the end of 90 days I was a little more relaxed.

But now it's happening again.

Whether anybody might have agreed with my shouting at the videotape operator -- as I suspect at least ONE person, somewhere in there, might have -- doesn't matter.

This, I'm SURE by this point, is going to get back to management. Which has changed by now, but nevertheless.

I'm getting ready to just say, You know, I shouldn't work here anymore. I'm becoming more of a liability -- to myself and to the company -- if I were to continue doing what I'm doing.

Disregard all other factors like my schedule changing extremely on a regular basis. Because of this, I guess it's time we parted ways.

I don't think there is anything that can be done by the company to make my life better, and I don't think the company owes it to me; I need to leave and the company needs to replace me and I'm sorry, I can give the company one more month but at the end they should kick me out.

I cannot handle this stressful job with grace under pressure.

And yet, the other day when my show totally tanked because my lead story completely died for several minutes, I was fine and careful and calculated and it was clean on the air. And I didn't yell at anybody.

Why? The answer: Management was there. It was during a weekday.

Is this the top of the heap thing?

The other day my current supervisor told me I was good where I was -- as I had asserted -- and he liked what I was doing. That's good, right?

(sigh)

I just don't want to exist anymore. I'm getting fatter, I have no interest in exercising, I just want to be thin and cute without any work to get that way. I'm never going to have a regular circle of friends who all get along and are all friendly and generally agreeable, and I'm never going to have a boyfriend. Or even a girlfriend.

I'm going to die alone, either in this apartment which will never be decorated right and will always be incredibly cluttered, or I'm going to move back in with my parents and die in my childhood home, presumably after they have.

I'm never going to be great, never going to do anything of serious interest or fame or satisfaction to myself, nothing to say, "You know, I'm really proud of that," about. Nothing to blush about, at least not genuinely.

I'm just a waste of space, life, food, money, clothes. I should just finish it all. Hmm, let's see, if it cost, let's say, $5,000 a year first thru 5th grades of private school, $7,500 a year 6th thru 8th grades, $10,000 a year 9th thru 12th grades, and, oh, say, $30,000 a year freshman thru senior year of college (these are very rough estimates), how much money did my parents waste on me, education alone?

30,000 lower school (2 years of first grade)
22,500 middle school
40,000 upper school
120,000 college
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$212,500

Not counting clothes, food, remodeling the house so I had a bigger bedroom and a loft, trips, toys, books --- GOD, the books! --- and videotapes.

And then of course, the priceless one: their love.

Why am I disappointing my parents so much in this way as to put these elements of life on display for the public to read, including them? I took one entry -- a DrunkBlog (like a drunk dial) -- off because I said to myself, that's just wrong for me to say, it's so against them, whether it's true or not, it's inappropriate.

I am incredibly depressed. Incredibly. I just don't want to exist anymore, or have a brain that thinks. It would be incredibly selfish to take my own life. Especially since my parents have invested so much in it. I just don't want to live anymore. I just want to die!

Maybe one of these days it'll be an interesting blog for people who want to read how depressed a human got. And how he deigned to put it on display for everyone to see. At least Marvin the Paranoid Android was entertaining. This is just pathetic.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/29/2005 03:50:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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Eureka! and Bloody Useless WSBE/Channel 36/Rhode Island PBS Master Control Operators

Sorry, this one is way too long. Buckle up.

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Remember those FAKE PBS pledge breaks I've talked about before?

PBS calls them "VIRTUAL" breaks.

Check out Google's cache of a PDF file talking about it here. (Written by The National Educational Telecommunications Association.)

A choice quote:

What messages that you don’t like are being heard in Virtuals?
What messages should be featured in Virtuals, but aren’t?
Stars pushing their products, and occasionally overstating their value, was the first reply.
Example cited was Suze Orman saying how the viewer’s investments could have been more profitable if he had ordered her CD/Book/DVD sooner. Even though Orman couched it as “in her opinion,” the sentiment was still too self-promotional.

Ah, that Suze. You'd love to give her a swift kick in the rear, wouldn't you, then pinch her cheeky face for her cheekiness. Just like Martha Stewart.

Nothing to do with their being businesswomen. In Suze it's because she's so snotty. Which some of us gay men love. In Martha it's because she's so holier-than-thou. In the future it'll be because she's fallen from grace and is determined to take that fall... gracefully.

One of these days I'll pay a hell of a lot more attention to Suze Orman and I'll be able to catch her in a catty moment. It'll be better than watching Nancy Grace's glaring eyes. (GOOD GRACIOUS ME! HERE THEY COME AGAIN! RUN! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!)

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The discovery comes by chance as I was looking for information about WSBE's master control operations... and whether anybody else has complained about them. The typewriter text that follows is adapted from an IM conversation I had -- it's only what I said, and anyone else quoted is noted:

Okay. American Masters: Bob Newhart, Unbuttoned started all nice and neat at 9:00 PM.
Round about ten the air product started REWINDING ON AIR.
After just a few seconds it went to the ever-bloody-present "trouble"/legal ID screen.
Stayed on that for a while.

I figured, "they're not rewinding the entire bloody first reel to try and play it back again are they?" as though the first, 60 minute tape, had run out from when they taped it off the network.

So after a few minutes of dead air they threw on "HERstory," the history of Johnson & Wales... which was due to be on at 10:30. Keep in mind that it was about 10:10 PM by this point.

Now that I think about it they weren't as dodgy master-control wise (or at least it didn't appear to be the case) when I used to live in Providence on the East Side (2001-2003).

It has to be some human being because these are human decisions (to put the bloody trouble screen up so much).

The friend I was IMming with about it a bit remarked that Rhode Island PBS was in financial trouble when the FCC started mandating digital conversion. Google features several entries that allude to the fact that WSBE lost funding for digital conversion. Hmm. Maybe that explains this poor quality now, since their IDs proclaim that they are now WSBE-TV and WSBE-DT. The money had to come from somewhere...

...and I found something like a request for a grant for a video server... and there's no bloody way they're working off a video server. The on-air product would look different.
These days it looks like they're still coming off MII (pron. M-2) tape. That is if they haven't gone to something like DVCPRO or D2...

I mean, some Tuesdays I've seen them cut Allan Shawn Feinstein right off on his live "Our Great Kids" show ... because he was running long, but the live production crew is half that problem. They've gotten better at giving him cues I'll warrant...

One night when he ran really long they had to throw out the last Britcom before the BBC World News... and replace it with some little 15-20 minute BBC comedy program ("Posh Nosh" with Chris Langham and Arabella Weir as the Marchants. Yes, Dad, THAT Chris Langham.).

I mean, it all makes me wonder if they're getting high school kids to run master control. 8^p Yecch.

I mean, if Channel 6 could do it (employ immature, unprofessional high school kids) for their weekend morning shows (as a TV director friend of mine told me after she worked at channel 6 for ONE DAY before quitting) then WSBE's totally gonna do it.

The other thing I wonder is, what if WSBE has VOLUNTEERS running master control? MY GOD!

I'm on the verge of bombarding them with emails and snail mail letters because...

It was about this time -- 10:30 tonight -- when, with about 10-15 minutes left in the Johnson and Wales history (and it really was more of a history rather than an infomercial for J&W today... we didn't even hear from any current students on what they thought of the school's origins... They must not give a toff, huh?) they cut straight to the Inspector Morse promo for Friday's Mystery!"

Then two or three other promos.

Maybe they'll go back to Newhart for the rest of THAT... and then they'll rejoin the J&W program.

Then, of all things, a billboard: "Major funding for tonight's programming provided by ... the Rhode Island Foundation...."

Well, the Rhode Island Foundation is not f***ing getting its money's worth!
I could write the Foundation too to bitch at THEM. PULL YOUR FUNDING! I could say.

At first when the J&W program came up I thought, well, are they taking network? (meaning, the PBS "Schedule X" network feed) but when I switched over to 44 it didn't match. Not that 44 is always on Schedule X... usually overnight....

Then the Nightly Business Report News Brief, which is, what, I don't know, 60 to 90 seconds?

Throwing on the NBR is just buying the operator time to rewind the J&W tape and start that over probably.

Then another promo or two. "I'm waiting for the trouble screen," said my friend. "Watch," I said, "He or shee will run out of tape machines soon... unless they have like a Betacart for promos."

Then, finally, two minutes late, the Johnson and Wales history started playing AGAIN.

Here's what I'm thinking. Whoever taped American Masters off the network (because anybody actually distributing the show [American Public Television or what have you] would have the sense to put it on a 90+ minute tape)....

...either only used a 60+ minute tape by mistake, OR used two reels, a 60ish and a 30ish. So either the last reel was never recorded, or the last reel was LOST, or the tape broke or something like that.

So, rather than put on a completely unrelated program, or something short that would be like 5-10 minutes that would kill time, but be easy to get out of ["interstitial" programs], or (if you're desperate for a different program) put on something from last night, or for tomorrow night....

...they just start the next program? and then show it AGAIN? (rolls eyes) I dunno, not very imaginative.

Well, this is, I don't know, the last straw. I know I'm used to Oregon Public Broadcasting where it's a powerhouse of two (am & FM) radio stations and a TV station and professional high standards and whatnot, but this is just getting asinine.

So, maybe I'll fire off a few emails to programming@ripbs.org, membership@ripbs.org, and whatnot.

Here's the full WSBE contact information, especially for those of you who did not see Bob Newhart: Unbuttoned in its entirety on "American Masters" on Wednesday, August 24:

Rhode Island PBS
50 Park Lane
Providence, RI
02907

401-222-3636

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Incidentally, what bonehead at WSBE decided to dump "Vicar of Dibley" and bring back "Father Ted"?

Fine, I'll allow dumping "Barbara"... for the perennial favorite "Fawlty Towers." I enjoyed a few of them, and want to see more of Gwen Taylor (who originated the role of Marlene in Caryl Churchill's Top Girls, don't you know!) but it was a kind of by-the-numbers show.

But "Father Ted" is even more ... hmm, I don't know.... stupid. It's the "The Young Ones" of religious sitcoms.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/25/2005 12:33:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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CreepyGoogle

related:toolbox.academicpriority.co.il/recommend.php/en/ - Google Search

I don't know why, but three links on this page of search results are related to me: Hooker Street Band, Panera Bread, and Emerson College. What the hell???

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/24/2005 03:00:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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Ringtone bonanza; Latest guilty pleasures

Playing with my new toy is driving my co-workers crazy. I stayed at work one evening and downloaded several tones.

Now, family sounds like ABBA's "Money Money Money." (Yeah, joke.) The extra special VIPs, if I ever get one, will sound like ABBA's "Gimme Gimme Gimme (A Man After Midnight)." Friends sound like "Come and Get Your Love" by Redbone (the only true-tone I have, because it took me forever to get it out of Cingular... and you have to pay to DOWNLOAD it in addition to paying for the bandwith). Colleague/Work numbers ring with "99 Luftballoons" by Nena. Another group that I haven't given much information to yet will sound like ABBA's "Dancing Queen." A group of "Buddies" (on a slightly different track from "Friends") sounds like "All That Jazz" from Chicago.

Then there was the time I was in the morning meeting and I'd forgotten my phone was still in my cargo pant pocket, and all of a sudden "99 Luftballoons" comes out of it during a short pause in the conversation." I think I still had 99 Luftbaloons on the Friends list.

Next to find:
The theme to "Fraggle Rock," the "Mahna Mahna" song, and several others. Maybe "Canned Heat."

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Latest guilty pleasures: a BLT on a toasted whole wheat mini baguette in the middle of the night from Tim Hortons. And an IceCap. I've been going there several times lately on my way home from, say, either work or even a night downtown, out clubbing with the bois for example. It's usually about $5-7 for a trip for a cute little sandwich in a cute little wrapper and cute little brown bag, and a delicious IceCap, whether it's small, medium or large. And it's faster than waiting at Bickford's. God only knows if it's at all healthy.

I am starting to determine I need a better way of sleeping and eating. Not way; schedule. Something that would work into whether I worked dayside or nightside, and going to the gym.
Like:

Awaken at 7:30 AM (9am if I'm not on dayside)

10 AM every day, eat breakfast of a medium caramel swirl iced latte and muffin or an approximation thereof

11 AM, go to the gym when I'm not working (3 times a week)

1-2 PM every day, eat lunch of a wrap, sandwich, salad, or something like that.

3-5 PM Snack: Carrots? Something like that....

7-8 PM every day, eat dinner of a wrap, sandwich, salad, or something like that.

Midnight, eat dessert. (New York Super Fudge Chunk is delicious. I am taking a shine to it rather than Phish Food because of the walnuts in Fudge Chunk. Not for the health; for the variety.) Maybe a third of a pint.

Bed at 12:30-1 AM. Which doesn't leave much time for late night life. Hmm.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/24/2005 02:07:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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Policing police uniforms

New York Actors warned about carrying police uniforms, according to the Associated Press's David B. Caruso, as printed in the Dallas Morning News:

With security tighter since the 2001 terror attacks, the union that represents TV and film actors is advising its New York-area members to stop carrying police costumes to TV and movie sets.
The Screen Actors Guild said in a statement posted on its Web site on Friday that 'an apparent shift in city policy' may put actors at risk of arrest if they are stopped while carrying anything that looks too much like a real police uniform.

Um, why are actors carrying their uniforms to the set anyway? The costume department should be in charge of transporting the costume to the set so the actors can change there (either in a trailer or in a facility at the set).

I remember an old term from theatre in high school: "actor-proofing." In essence, make something (like a prop or set piece) as indestructable as possible so the boneheaded actor, who will play with it, doesn't break it or mess it up. This carries over to the television game as "talent-proofing."

You can glean from this concept that ACTORS ARE FALLIBLE. (More fallible than most people on the set, possibly.) So why are they being asked to be responsible for everything in their own costumes, from set location to home and other places inbetween?

Even college student productions -- which should be VERY careful when dealing with police officer costumes or props, no matter what -- could be expected to have a costumer in charge of costumes. But that has nothing to do with the Screen Actors Guild.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/24/2005 01:32:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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4,000 views: Up and up we go

We actually have passed 4000 views long ago but I'm psyched for the milestone.

Wait, what's this WE? Make that *I*... ain't nuthin' but me here.

Who's reading TopStoryLive?

DOMAINS:
verizon.net
conversent.net
comcast.net
aol.com
attbi.com
cox.net
rr.com
rogers.com
adelphia.net
af.mil (2 percent)
bellsouth.net
charter.com
frontiernet.net
shawcable.net
nevd.net
optonline.net
xtra.co.nz (Yes, New Zealand!)
twtelecom.net
ameritech.net
telus.net
army.mil (1 percent)
sktc.net

ORGANIZATIONS:
Network (.net) 57%
Commercial (.com) 30%
Military (.mil) 3%
New Zealand (.nz)
Norway (.no)

I love seeing the military domains there of course. What can I possibly do to repay my 3% of readers from the Air Force and Army? I have no budget. Email topstorylive@yahoo.com and give me some idea. How about a phone card? Send me your APO/FPO.

Still, knowing me, I can't promise anything....

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/21/2005 12:20:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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Panic

The only word that caught my eye as I clicked on the close button for the AOL Welcome screen was PANIC.

This is what it was linked to: Apple iBooks on sale for $50 each.

Used.

Steve Jobs must be wetting himself. To be sure, other people are: Associated Press, that diligent news source, reports a woman let fly rather than lose her place in line.

Somebody also used a folding chair as a weapon.

I clicked through and found Richmond.com's story by Caine O'Rear, called Moths to the Flame. Sensationalist or not, it goes into further detail about a stampede.... and the way the show-runners (and police) cocked things up.

How about taking a number out of a hat (1 to, say, 10,000) and whoever draws the numbers 1 to 1000 gets to be served first? Or something like that. Jeeeeeeezussssssssssss.

I hope to sh*t CNN got local packages of this. I'm sure they repackaged it nationally. I can hardly wait to see them.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/17/2005 05:04:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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1 a.m.

Bring us to stillness.

One year passes and yet I am still alone on the P.H.S. steps, beholding the Monument

MOBILE RECONSTRUCT

ensconsced in haze.

I am so jealous. And lazy.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/13/2005 01:12:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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Rain

That's a really good question.

What DOES Provincetown do when it rains?

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/13/2005 12:04:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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Vixen

(On location, P-Town) Seen/heard on the street:

"Do you know where the Vixen [dyke bar] is?"

"I'm actually looking for it."

"Oh, we're looking for it too, so

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hang with us!!"

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/12/2005 11:35:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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Hot tub

(on loc: porch bar) So a large group of men was parting ways & one with black rectangle specs said "Are you going

MOBILE RECONSTRUCT

to the hot tub?" & I almost said "I'll go in a hot tub with you any time you want, babe," but instead I walked on by. I am doomed to perpetual Wussdom.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/12/2005 11:28:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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Come-ons

(on loc: porch bar) One of these days I'll perfect the come-on of "You look about as bored as I am."

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/12/2005 11:05:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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Curisocity

(on loc: porch bar) Why would anybody ever want to drink Jaegermeister? There goes $6.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/12/2005 10:15:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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On Loc: P-town

Can I just say, the street performers are going nuts?

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/12/2005 09:49:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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On Loc: P-town

Mmm... Okay, maybe not Herring Cove beach. I haven't seen anything about a shuttle. A good kip's

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not bad either...

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/12/2005 03:48:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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P-Town 2005 (and blogging in general lately)

(entry bandwidth courtesy of Provincetown Public Library)

(What is it with me? I keep wanting to say it's 2006 instead of 2005 and I keep wanting to say I'm 27 instead of 26. Anticipation?)

So somehow I have to figure out how I can blog from my brand-new, I-keep-wanting-to-use-the-adjective-Spanky-for-it Cingular LG F9100 with the QWERTY keyboard (but no apostrophe unless you go into a menu which SUCKS) without a big ad for Cingular cropping up in every one of the entries until I go in and do a MOBILE RECONSTRUCT... which people in some parsecs might call cheating.

[updated 01092006]

On the bright side, I'm in Provincetown until tomorrow noonish. And everywhere I see is Yum. (A bunch of straight families too, of course.)

Last night when in the A-House (or was it the macho bar upstairs?) I was drunk enough to reveal the blog to somebody like Brock. *** Did you know I have been keeping this blog secret from most of the people at work? *** One person likely knows but she has a blog too. I probably dish work more than she does, and more disparagingly than she does. (See entries "More reason to not talk about work", and "Breaking confidentiality agreements".) [PLUS: See entry "[edited 01092006]"]

There was one time when I think I sent an email message from home and I may have forgotten to take the TopStoryLive web address out of my signature. So God knows who might have cottoned on. If they have they haven't let the penny drop around ME. Maybe they're all reading it secretly behind my back. 8^) Not that I mention anybody specifically, because I tend not to write entries like "Oh, that _______ _______ is becoming more annoying by the day. I wish she'd just find another job and quit already. Maybe I can haze her a little more today and tell her her writing sucks on something."

GETTING BACK TO THE TRIP, I have already dispensed with the idea of getting a deep tissue massage today and have decided to try to do at least two things: go to the beach (the one where everybody takes the shuttle to get to it, not the beach behind Commercial Street) and go up the Pilgrim Monument and take pictures.

Of course, whether I so much as cop a feel tonight is anybody's guess. Hi Mom and Dad!!!!

Side note: The library catalog system on the Cape is called CLAMS. How darling!

I also want at some point -- maybe not this trip -- to eat more scallops. Or clams. Or whatever-they-weres that I ate on the trip to Chatham that you dipped in melted butter and tried not to chew the sand so much.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/12/2005 01:33:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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On Loc: Ptown/A-House

Sorry I haven't blogged in a while. I've been tired. Now, I'm on the Cape. I'm thinking $10 cover iover i

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...$10 cover is a bit much even for a Thursday.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/11/2005 11:13:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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On Loc: Somewhere in Providence

Someone should have a sign:
LIQUOR AVAILABLE HERE.
I'm just saying.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/05/2005 11:57:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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On Loc: Thayer Street

License plate:
XPNENT
Must be a math teacher, huh?

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/05/2005 09:23:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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On Loc: Old Navy

This lady brings her little boy over because he isn't staying in a safe range, and saying "You SHOULD beULD be

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...the woman was actually saying, "You SHOULD be scared," because somebody might come along and kidnap him.

At the time it was a little, I don't know, odd... Creepy?... because I was trying to conduct my business right next to them. Jeez, lady, go where people AREN'T.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/05/2005 04:07:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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3:33 am

I now have 74 phone/email entries in the new phone. Cingular.com's still not giving ringtones.

--

Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/05/2005 03:39:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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The cingle new thing

Now that it looks like I can write 861 characters on the new toy, will I actually get that? One thine thin

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Mobile Email from a Cingular Wireless Customer http://www.cingular.com

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/04/2005 08:38:00 PM ... Email this entry ...
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Leftover from rainy afternoon of 6/22/05

Now there is a cute little handful.

But have I commented about how impossible it is for men to make nice admiring comments about wee ones? Without sounding incredibly odd, that is, or like a woman, or a child molester.

Boy, he is all over the place!

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Okay, I'm sure that wasn't but it really could have been Vanessa Vollum.

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There's some ad for "Wilton Station/Wilton Manors" in one of these publications. [Bay Windows]

How would like to be the kid -- a boy -- gay or straight -- to be on the cover of Bay Windows carrying the flag?

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What was the middle one? Tea at Coffee Exchange.

Two iced teas I've had today and neither were the red one I love. Damn.

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Can I write extended notes on the LG F 9100? Download them to/from Outlook, etc., like address book entries? Cost for download? Bandwidth?
And can long notes become blogs and/or emails?

30 days to love it or hate it

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Must check out Drinking Liberally.

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Hibiscus (orange)

CLOUDBURST!

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 8/03/2005 01:29:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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