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and local news producer in Southern New England.
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Saturday, December 31, 2005

Fictdialogue: drinking with co-workers

[edited 01092006]

Even now, at 2:30 in the morning, the apartment is still hopping. ANGELA is working on the computer at the secretary desk in the living room, JONATHAN is messing about in the kitchen area.

Rob Thomas's "Lonely No More" is playing on ANGELA's computer speakers.

There's a key in the door, and BILL comes through the door haphazardly. He is buzzed. He carries mail and his workbag.

ANGELA AND JONATHAN Hello.

BILL Hello. Thank God for roommates.

JONATHAN So where'd you go tonight?

BILL Z Bar on Wickenden Street.

JONATHAN Ah. The work buddies. Right?

BILL (WITH A BIG SIGH) Right.

ANGELA Let me guess. You talked about work a lot.

BILL (SITTING ON THE COUCH) Yeah. Too much. Well, just enough.

ANGELA That's why I have a regular crew outside of work.

BILL There's nothing regular about .... well, anything.

JONATHAN That's a problem.

BILL So what did you guys do?

JONATHAN I'm trying to make popcorn.

BILL (SUDDENLY, WARNINGLY) Be careful and don't set off---

JONATHAN -- the smoke alarm. I know. She told me.

ANGELA I've already done it once this week with tomato soup.

BILL Tomato soup? When was that?

ANGELA Tuesday.

BILL Why popcorn? At 2:30 in the morning?

JONATHAN You go out and have your Bickford's late night buffalo wings, I have my popcorn. It's healthier. Doesn't upset your stomach and metabolism so much.

ANGELA It would be better to not drink or eat anything after 11:30 at night.

JONATHAN Stuff it.

ANGELA Ooooooh!

BILL Well, I need something to eat anyway. Are the pita chips still there?

ANGELA I haven't touched them.

BILL gets a bag of pita chips out of the cupboard and a container of hummus while JONATHAN reads a popcorn bag in front of the microwave.

ANGELA's computer music changes to "Hold On" by Wilson Phillips.

BILL (SITTING ON COUCH AGAIN) I feel rotten.

Nobody says anything. BILL munches a pita chip.

BILL I know you might not feel rotten but I do. Ask me why.

ANGELA (STANDING UP AND STRETCHING) Okay. Why do you feel rotten?

BILL I don't know.

ANGELA You are WASTING my time.

BILL Well, part of it's a guy I work with.

ANGELA You hate a lot of the people you work with.

JONATHAN You need to get the hell out of there, dude. You're miserable.

BILL (GUILTILY) I know.

JONATHAN So get off your ass....

BILL I know.

ANGELA What happened tonight?

BILL Well after we've all had a few drinks and this guy and me are just standing there he's like "since we're like co-workers/friends...."

JONATHAN You know, I know this is the wrong time to bring this up, but you should really be talking to a real human being about this, a buddy, instead of the imagined split-out parts of your personality in a scene on a blog.

BILL But how many people do I know who are awake at (LOOKS AT HIS WATCH) 2:58 AM Eastern?

JONATHAN and ANGELA both give him a telling look.

BILL How about, how many people IN THEIR 20s who are CONSISTENTLY awake at all hours?

JONATHAN and ANGELA None.

BILL So shut up and listen.

ANGELA Since you're like co-workers-slash-friends...

BILL ...he had a couple of good suggestions. Like yellow light. Going to the gym every day.

JONATHAN (TAKING POPCORN OUT OF THE MICROWAVE, PERFECTLY POPPED) It's do-able. You just gotta have more discipline.

BILL (EXASPERATED) I don't HAVE any discipline!

JONATHAN (SERIOUSLY -- THE PUSHING VOICE:) You will have discipline!

BILL He brought up the fact that I'm on Lexapro. He said he was on xxxx for a time.

ANGELA (MOVING TO THE COUCH) Wait. Relax for a second. Tell us more about that.

BILL What else is there to tell? He talked about xxxx like sexual side effects. I haven't had a single issue. .....He did say one thing: either you're angry or you just don't give a shit.

JONATHAN You specifically or in general?

BILL General.

JONATHAN Okay.

BILL I didn't get to tell him what I was actually on.... (BUSHED) Oooooffff.....

ANGELA (GETTING UP) Let me get you some water.

JONATHAN (TAKING ANGELA'S PLACE ON THE COUCH) So, gym. Yellow, natural light. What was he getting at?

BILL I don't know, getting off the stuff?

(PAUSE)

BILL I don't know. I feel so guilty. It's like... now I'm worried. I had a second when I was in the bathroom and saying to myself, God, I should just say, you know, you can tell me anytime when I have a second when I'm stepping out of line, or being dumb, or like, he can ask me, "don't you care about this shit?" and now I feel like he's just trying to make his OWN life more bearable. Like all those fears I have, of, people thinking or saying when I'm not there, "Bill's so awful to work with, I hate having to direct his shows, maybe he means well, but he's just so slapdash..."

ANGELA (INDICATING A CATALOG BILL IS HOLDING) You should give that guy at work one of these.

JONATHAN (TAKING THE CATALOG AND HOLDING IT UP) Angela, him giving anybody at work a copy of Undergear would be sexual harrassment.

ANGELA Jesus. Work is no fun anymore.

ANGELA hands him the glass of water from the fridge water filter.

BILL The tap still not working?

ANGELA You're the one who has to call the landlord.

JONATHAN I tried calling them. They don't take calls from figments of imagination.

BILL I'm slapdash, but it's so much lately, I mean I like to think, because I haven't had a chance to xxxxing get good at doing these shows. Like the X:XX. I fucking HATE me doing the X:XX. There are all these extra stories and I'll never be able to figure out how to write them all myself because I won't be producing it 5 days a week for 4 weeks straight.

ANGELA Relax.

BILL I'm competing with the best producers in the shop.

JONATHAN It's not a competition.

BILL YES IT IS! THEY'RE BETTER THAN ME! And I can't do anything about it.

Sloughing it off just does not work.

(PAUSE)

JONATHAN Listen, you want to get out of there, right? Like, you want to get into a different market where you have a different mindset.

BILL They asked me tonight.... they asked me about when I re-signed my contract. The one guy I was talking to a lot, he even suggested if I like the WRITING aspect to go into MAGAZINE WRITING.

ANGELA They know you're miserable.

BILL springs up, jams his hands in his pockets and paces sullenly.

ANGELA's computer's music changes to "The Entertainer" by Billy Joel.

BILL How did they know I was drooling over a print kind of gig?

JONATHAN Stop drooling. Start writing and getting that shit out there, dude.

BILL Shut up.

ANGELA LISTEN.

If you don't trust US to say you're a good writer you have to put yourself out there.

A writer has to be read. You need to swallow your pride ---

ANGELA goes over to the secretary desk and pulls open a bottom drawer, pulling out a manuscript.

ANGELA -- and have somebody look at this. And everything else you could write.

JONATHAN And not your best buds. Yokels who can tell you what's shit about it and what's good.

ANGELA walks over and throws the manuscript in BILL's lap.

BILL angrily crunches a pita chip and sulks.

ANGELA I'm going to bed.

SHE turns off the computer's music and puts it to sleep, exiting to her room.

JONATHAN (MUNCHING POPCORN) You can be a better writer. First you have to be a writer that's worth something.

JONATHAN takes the popcorn bag to his room and shuts the door.

BILL closes the container of hummus and curls up on the arm of the couch, hiding his head in his arm and continuing to sulk.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 12/31/2005 03:48:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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