Raw, but c*nsored blabbing and blogging of a young journalista
and local news producer in Southern New England.
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Monday, March 14, 2005

Social Development/Commentary

[UPDATED]

Mom, Dad, please don't worry about this and email me about it trying to allay my fears but...

Maybe I'm getting better at not wigging out on whether I'm doing the right thing. However, I am still wigging out when people note things they don't like about other people... and I start to wonder if I share the same characteristic.

The other morning when we were done writing a show and thus had time to b.s. with co-workers (which is unusual for me but never mind) one of them mentioned how X, who wasn't present, is really good at what he does, but therefore thinks it has to be his way or the highway. I wondered (but didn't say anything out loud) if I do that.

In the inevitable over-self-analysis that followed... I determined that if I do -- and I have a big opportunity to do that right now because I'm training someone -- then I've been working on NOT forcing other workers to do exactly the way I do things. Why bother? Especially if you're training someone to produce a show where she has to be able to do it all on her own without supervision, then she (or he) has to figure out her (or his) own pacing and story choice and decision-making process and timetable.

(This follows on the heels of fretting over whether I had lost my copy of a very important and very confidential document -- like MY CONTRACT -- within minutes of signing the thing. Once it was lost I scoured the newsroom for it and after 20 minutes of looking figured, well, if it's lost, it's lost; if some jamoke picked it up -- and is putting it on the Internet revealing all the trade secrets and my salary -- then that's the way it goes and I'll just have to deal with it; and I'll just have to put my tail between my legs and go ask for another copy. When I told my friend Kevin (the musician, not the marketing guy) this conclusion he was bowled over that I was accepting this. Luckily -- because I'm a dumbass -- later in the weekend I found where I had hidden the thing.)

It happened again later in the day when my friend Patrick (the one who thinks blogs are insipid, and he's got a point there) told me about someone he used to know who got into a relationship too early and doesn't have social graces. Well, I haven't had a steady relationship at all so far in my 26-plus years, and maybe I don't have social graces at all?

I was able to shoot a hole in that theory because for pete's sake, I spent four years of talking to people I didn't know -- and got to know -- late at night in the common rooms of the Little Building.

Then I started worrying about how all the time I am the one LISTENING in the conversation, unable to come up with an active, lengthy discource on cue when asked "So how are you? What's new with you? Etc."

I also figured out that theory was silly too, because come on! Lots of the time lately I have been LISTENING because I've been having conversations where I was caught unawares and possibly been woken up. Trust yourself, I said, I have lengthy conversations with my friends about things in my life and I am not always in the position of watching and listening to them like I might television. You are not just a hanger-on who has nothing to contribute to the conversation crossed with the problem of not knowing exactly when to bring in an idea or speak. At least not all the time.

Just the other day I saw someone who was run over by someone else in a conversation -- this guy was trying to speak and got about a third of the sentence out but gave up because a girl had continued on talking -- so it's not just me.

Progress.

Labels: Originally published

... Scribbled by Bill T ... 3/14/2005 09:28:00 AM ... Email this entry ...
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